Which one are you??????

I believe as long as we’re still breathing, there’s HOPE!  I’m the eternal optimist with my glass is full “NOT” half full lifestyle and thought process.  Believe me, IT’S A LOT of WORK!  But it beats the alternative of becoming a “naysayer or grump” or worse yet, the consistently “NEGATIVE” person no one wants to be around.  So, hang in there with me, because you just never know when one of these concepts might be helpful to you as well.

So let’s get started….

I want you to close your eyes for a moment and picture the world as one enormous “mobile” and all the people in the world are ALL dangling from it.  What happens when you touch a mobile?  Everything moves!  Every choice we make, every word we speak, every thought we think, every action we take good, bad or indifferent will and does affect not only ourselves but everyone we come in contact with whether directly or indirectly.  It sets in motion a chain of events that take place, some of which we’re never even aware happened as a direct result of something we did, said or thought……hmmmmm that’s SCARY!  So that being said, I am convinced that it’s the simple things that change lives.  It’s ones attitude towards EVERYTHING that starts the ball rolling.

The world is full of “givers and takers” and all dangling from the same “mobile”.  We all like to think of ourselves as the first one, but are we?  Taking doesn’t necessarily mean LITERALLY taking something physical from somebody.  It could be we “take away” their self esteem, self worth, dignity or value as a human being with the “words” that spew out of our mouths at times like vomit or perhaps it’s the disapproving and condescending “looks” we give them.   Either way, once those words and or looks have been released they cannot be retrieved.  They are permanent!

Example: Do you ever complain about your neighbor, you know the one that you feel has a ridiculous amount of weeds or “stuff” in their yard?  The one whose house in your opinion is an eyesore and needs a paint job?   Do you rant and rave about it to anyone that will listen? Does it, at times consume and irritate you on a daily basis due to the fact you wake up and see it every day?  Are you obsessed with these thoughts?  Are you always talking trash about them?  Come on tell the truth at least to yourself!  You might think your neighbors are just plain lazy but maybe it’s bigger than that.  Perhaps they are physically unable to do it themselves; maybe they work multiple jobs to make ends meet or perhaps their depressed and struggling.  On the other hand maybe they just have no idea where to begin because it has gotten so out of hand.  Whatever the reason I assure you they probably don’t like looking at it anymore than you do.  Considering you don’t actually “live in their skin and walk in their shoes” you probably don’t know the REAL day to day circumstances taking place in their home or their personal lives. So, it would seem to me that it is quite unfair to judge and talk about them behind their back. Instead, why not set an example and be a “GIVER” and create a “POSITIVE” solution.  Below are two simple examples on “How To” change your attitude in regards to your neighbor’s yard while making a positive difference in your life as well as theirs.

1. Have a Cleanup/BBQ or Pot Luck party-Invite your friends, family and other neighbors to help.  Please be considerate in your approach, make this fun and neighborly. You might even want to consider doing this with ALL the surrounding homes near yours on additional upcoming weekends as to NOT single out the one neighbor in your opinion that needs it the most.

2. 2. If it’s just weeds & lawn care, do it anonymously while they are at work or perhaps hire a landscaping company to perform the miracle you feel they need.   REMEMBER:  If you choose this route, you “DO NOT” get to take any credit for doing it at all!  This is NOT about you!  BE Selfless!   NO tooting your own horn in any way to anyone!!!!

Clearly these are just “suggestions” but I believe they are a potential win-win for everyone!  You will help set an example of “one hand reaching out to another” in your community just like the “good ole days” when there was never a doubt a person knew their neighbor truly cared and had their back.  They were there for each other “No matter what”!  Some of you will say: bah humbug, is this gal a nut?  The answer is NO, I just believe in people and helping them reach their full potential.  I’m fully aware the crazy world we live in “today” does not work this way but that too is a “direct result of our own selfish choices”.  So bottom line is: If you want something different you have to do something different!  Capeesh?

So, I challenge you today to “examine yourself” and be aware of your actions, thoughts and words as you go throughout your day.  Did you swear, use the “finger” or yell at the person in the vehicle that cut you off or took your parking place?  Did you spread gossip today?  Did you belittle that person’s choice of clothing, car or whatever may apply whether to yourself by thinking it or to someone else by speaking it?  Did you turn away from the homeless or disabled person today due to your own uncomfortableness instead of offering up a friendly “smile and hello” after all we’re ALL God’s kids!  Most folks will not admit it but we are ALL guilty of these verbal and mental insults or actions at some point in our lives, including myself.  What do we stand to gain with these less than favorable comments, conversations and aversions?  Reality is “NOTHING” and we hurt someone else in the process, including ourselves.  Together we really can change our world for the better but we must start with ourselves and our own “attitude adjustment” in order to proceed towards helping others unconditionally (no motive and no strings attached)! 

Remember the selfless act of encouraging and offering hope of a brighter tomorrow to another human being is “PRICELESS” my friends!

 

Consider yourself warned:  It “IS” contagious J

May we ALL learn how to find the good in people and make a “Positive Difference” in our own lives as well as in the lives of those whose paths we cross on a daily basis.   It’s a choice….So CHOOSE WELL!

Lady D

"There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from ALL the drama & the people who create it.....

You surround yourself with people who make you laugh.....

You forget the bad & you focus on the good.....

You love the people who treat you right & pray for the ones who don't.....

Life is too short to be anything but happy.....

Remember: Falling down is a part of life but getting back up is living."

Two Wolves (an Old Cherokee Saying)

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside of people.  He said, "My son, the battle is between two wolves that are inside all of us..... 

"One is Evil - It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

"The other is God - It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied,

     "The one you feed"

God & the Spider...

I have no clue who wrote this but it is in my folder of "Positive Actions & Thoughts" collections, so I decided to share it....Enjoy!

During the war, a US Marine was separated from his unit.  The fighting had been intense & due to the smoke & crossfire he had lost touch with his comrades.  Alone in the hills, he could hear the enemy soldiers heading in his direction.  Scrambling for cover he found his way up a high ridge & discovered several small caves in the rocks.  Quickly he crawled inside one of the caves.  Although he felt safe for the moment he also knew that once the enemy soldiers looking for him swept up the ridge, they too would discover the caves, search them & he would be killed!

As he waited, he prayed: "Lord, if it be your will, please protect me & whatever your will is God, know that I love you & I trust you...Amen!".  After praying, he lay quietly listening to the enemy as they got closer.  He thought, "well I guess God isn't going to help me get out of this one".  Then he saw a "spider" begin to build a web over the front of his cave.  As he watched the spider & listened as the enemy was searching the 

caves, the spider layered strand after strand of web across the opening of the cave. Great he thought to himself, "what I need is a brick wall & God sends me a spider"?  What is he thinking? I don't need his sense of humor, I need his help!  As the enemy drew closer he watched from the darkness of his cave & he could see them searching the surrounding caves. Next thing you know they are out side of his cave & he got ready to make his LAST stand.  To his amazement, after glancing in the direction of his cave, they moved on.  Suddenly he realized that the spider web over the entrance of his cave made it look as if no one had entered it for quite awhile. He prayed:  "Lord, forgive me for doubting you, I had forgotten that in YOU that spider web was stronger than any brick wall and any enemy that is trying to hurt me".

(Author Unknown)

That was a clear example of a Life Happening situation & God keeping his promises to us that are written in his word (Bible) & he showed up in this soldiers moment of need :) 

Will God do the same if we are the creator's of the mess we are in?

Absolutely!  Awww....But fair warning, God does not like being used as a "back pocket God"; you know the "get me out of this one God & I'll never do it again" kinda of prayer?

We ALL face times of great trouble. Some of which are created by our own selfish choices & some were just Life Happening.  Either way it is up to each of us to know when to "surrender" & ask God for forgiveness, guidance & protection, then step out in BLIND FAITH knowing if we truly believe, make changes in ones self & do the next "RIGHT" thing in front of us (key word being RIGHT), God does have a plan & has us covered.  God cannot show up if you STAND in the way by continuing to live a life of "self will" & bringing harm to yourself & others. 

So if your world feels as though it is CRASHING in on you perhaps look at your past choices to see if you had a part to play in creating the "landslide" you're living today?  I always taught my kids:  If you want something different in your life, you gotta do something different, only then will you achieve & receive God's very best!  IMO---->It's fact of life!

In closing, I challenge you to do a little self examination & see exactly what it is about you that you need to work on & change in yourself & your life that will allow you to have the most wonderful life you could possibly imagine!  I truly believe if one is still breathing, there is hope!

Memorial Day......

To ALL the people that are no longer here & the loved ones they left behind.....

God Bless you ALL on this Memorial Day & may you ALL remember the "GOOD TIMES" as you listen to the "link" below!!!!!

Tears In Heaven By "Eric Clapton"

You Didn't Break Me (meaning Life Happened situations)

Hmmmmm……..Thoughts have raced through my head for years on end now knowing all along if I would just write it out I "ALWAYS" feel better which leads to processing which then leads to FORGIVENESS & ultimately LETTING GO & MOVING ON.  So here I am….finally choosing to sit down (again) out here on my patio looking & listening to the beauty & sound of a simple yet profound waterfall watching as the water rushes over the boulders down to the river rock where it gently swims into a clear, calm & welcoming pond as it teaches me to just “be still, be quiet and listen”….. I wish everyday could be this serene & simple but “nope” not my life.  I am certain I was destined to write even if I am the only one it helps, it’s worth it, because today “I am important to myself, I am valuable”.  What a concept 

Choices, Smoices……........

Do you ever get tired of all the new cliches that come out year after year & wonder if anyone ever really lives up to those positive statements vs. just being part of the “new word, one liner or latest fad sayings”? They sound intelligent, sometimes profound & they do make one think but hellloooooooo…..try living up to them, it’s a lot of work!  Oh yes, we can all do it for awhile but bottom line is we are humans & being human makes us less than perfect….ugh!  Even though at times they irritate me, I would be six feet under without them.  When “Life Happens”, shows up & slaps me in the face they somehow get me through one more day & give me a reason to believe again.  I will NEVER stop trying to live up to them because as “cliche” as those positive statements might be, they have made me a better person & I like that about myself as well as they have assisted in keeping me alive & they continue to give me HOPE!!!!

We all get to choose whether we like or don’t like a person, place, thing or situation & if we find ourselves not liking something then we get to choose something different….hah!!!!  Dang I wished I would have known that when I was 4 years old & my mother was covering my face with a pillow in her first of many attempts to kill me, I would have called Child Protective Services…oh wait, we didn’t have that service back then.  In fact I am not even sure we had a phone.  But what we did have was the “elephant in the living room” that’s the decade I came from.  Now you can clearly see we don’t always get to choose.  At four years old you can’t even begin to relate to that kind of thinking, more or less know there was something else to choose from or something I could do about it!.

The “GIFT” that type of abuse gave me is:  I am a "SURVIVOR NOT A VICTIM" & I thank GOD for that everyday although at times it has felt like being a survivor can be a curse as well.  Life happens sometimes & I don’t like it & there is absolutely nothing I can do about it except accept it, (wow, try saying that 3 times real fast…whewww) learn from it, heal, forgive & move on. 

I remember the night when my little brother took his life & I got the call, I had just come out of the movie theater with a friend.  We had gone to see the movie “He’s Just Not That In to You”.  It was funny, uplifting & I could see myself in the movie but that’s a whole other chapter in my life…LOL   An annoying “restricted” call kept appearing on my caller ID, how dare them not leave a message...LOL.  By the way, years ago we would have just answered the phone because it was ringing.  Not these days, one has to expose themselves & darn near get naked to get someone to answer your call…anyway I finally answered,  it was a Homicide Detective.  She had found my brother dead in a hotel room of an apparent suicide…..what the &%$#!!!!!  I remember screaming: “Oh God no”…..The INSTANT physical & emotional pain in my body was so overwhelming, I could not breathe & I thought I was going to die!  I was momentarily emotionally & physically paralyzed.  My brother didn’t give me a choice, he just made his & left me & everyone that loved him to “just deal with it”.  What was he thinking????  I will never know, but what I do know is: He came from the same mother I did, who by the way was diagnosed twice as a Paranoid Schizophrenic with Multiple Personality Disorder!  Life at home was never boring & it might explain her sudden need to try to kill me at the age of four…..yah think???  The "family secret" was not revealed to me until I was 28.  Think of all the years I spent trying to figure out what it was about me or what was wrong with me & why she felt the need to kill me. Why she didn’t love me & why she hated me so much.  Wouldn’t it have been simpler for my father to just “tell the truth” about her illness vs. keeping the family secret?  Instead he kept locking her up in mental institutions for long periods at a time until she was well medicated also known as the Thorazine Shuffle…..What for???  So she could come back home & do it all again.  I suppose looking back at the generation he came from he did the best he could with what he had.

My brother unfortunately was dealt her illness although much milder & mixed with Crystal Meth, he didn’t stand a chance.  I made it my life’s mission to always be there for my brother to help him fight the “demons” in his head as he would call them & to call on God to PLEASE heal him.  The Demon’s won….My brother is gone :(  Maybe he would still be alive if the truth had been told so long ago, maybe not.  Bottom line is I will NEVER know.  My father stood by my mother through ALL the evil & horrible things she & her personalities did to him, me, my siblings, extended family & pretty much anyone who came into their life.  I used to think it was noble & old school marriage so to speak, now I know there is nothing noble about it.  He became as sick as her which is very sad.  That old saying: You are who you hang out with….It's "VERY TRUE”! 

I will never forget the night I called my father to tell him my brother/his son was gone….He hung up on me (FYI: I was not allowed to call there, one of my mother’s personalities didn't allow it) of course I called back & said: “Daddy, it’s me don’t hang up”.  There was a moment of silence that felt like an eternity to me, then I told him my brother/his son was gone & what had happened.  He told me to never call there again & hung up.  He denied him in his life & even in his death.  Talk about a “train wreck”, that was what was happening to me inside.  A train wreck of emotions colliding everywhere & I quickly started falling apart all over again……thank God, I was NOT alone that night!

It’s hard to believe it’s been over two years since my brother took his own life.  Although I miss him dearly, I have finally come to terms with his choices & I truly understand why he did what he did….Doesn’t mean I like his choices but I do understand. 

My brother made his choices, my parents made theirs just as I have made mine & you will make yours....It’s just what we do!

The card’s I was dealt at birth were not all bad after all “I was given life”!  I am living proof that in spite of an absolutely let’s say: Less than favorable childhood, I turned out really great at least that’s what I have been told & today, I actually agree.  I am alive in spite of circumstances that I had “NO CONTROL” over.  I have had an awesome adult life & I am forever grateful for all the growth the pains of  life have dealt me, the people who came into my life over the years that taught me how to deal with them in a healthy way, all the chances I took & all the “choices” I’ve made……

I believe we are all as "sick as our secrets" and the TRUTH really does set one free!!!  Forgiveness is non-negotiable at least for me.  On another note although  it is important for me to forgive in order to heal, move on & let go as I mentioned before, it DOESN'T mean I have to let you back in....That took me a VERY long time to figure out :)  We can pick pick our friends but we can't pick our family.  I am capable of  loving people that have brought harm to me from a very safe distance & continue to have NO aught against them & pray good things for them....That in its self feels REALLY great & is a MIRACLE in my book :)

In closing:

My version of the Serenity Prayer.....

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (people, places & things)

The courage to change the things I can (me & my attitude towards them)

And the wisdom to know the difference......Amen :)

Disclaimer:  My personal experiences are a direct reflection of my life as I perceived it.  Considering I am the one who lived it & experienced these “Life Happened” situations & the feelings that came with them as a direct result of the insanity I was raised in, I’m pretty sure that qualifies me to write about them.  Remember: These are “my feelings” they are not right or wrong, they just are & their mine.  You do not have to like them nor do you have to agree with them……It’s OK ;)

For Your Information:

This page is dedicated to finding the GOOD in the bad that happens to ALL of us from time to time as we go through this thing called "LIFE".  This is a SOLUTION'S page NOT a focus on the problems page, so keep that in mind if you choose to share what happened to you, how you GREW from it & became a BETTER person as a direct result of the situations that came down" unexpectedly" in your life.
 
NO personal attacks nor swearing will be allowed on this Blog! 

Disclaimer:  There are NO counselor's available nor am I or anyone on this Blog qualified to act as a counselor at any time!!!!!  If you need counseling please contact a QUALIFIED person/person's in your immediate area for help or if it is an emergency please call: 911.

Ten things to make a POSITIVE difference in your life starting today :)

Do you ever feel stuck?  Has the pain; whether emotionally or physically ever been so great you have no idea how to even put one foot in front of the other much less get through the day without falling apart?

So much has happened & you are FAR from centered....In fact, your down right LOST as you struggle to find that "HaPpY" place again in the midst of all the recent adversity that has dropped into your lap & life.....There are a few things that work for me & help me get back on track....Of course one has to actually do them to experience the results...NOT an easy task.....TRUST ME, I KNOW.....

1.  STOP watching the news, it is full of negativity...Pick & choose....you ARE what you put into your head.

2.  PRAY even if you don't believe in prayer, do it anyway....God's ALWAYS listening!

3.  COLLECT Positive thoughts & post them around your home, in your car, at work & read them DAILY... you will be surprised how powerful they are.

4.  CALL a friend & ask "how are you"...This call NEEDS to be ALL ABOUT THEM :)

5.  DO NOT ISOLATE----Get OUT of your house!

6.  MAKE a list of TEN things you're GRATEFUL for & they CANNOT be anything monetary----Hah!!!!

7.  DO something nice for someone today ANONYMOUSLY----You cannot take any credit!   

8.  BE STILL, BE QUIET & LISTEN-----Not as easy as it sounds but very calming ;)

9.  WRITE it out, whatever it is....So much more comes out on paper & share it with someone you TRUST!

10.  FORGIVE---It might not happen right away but it MUST happen in order to heal & move forward in your own life.

I like everyone else in this "Crazy World" of ours has had "Life Happen" and wonder how the heck will I make it through what feels like a nightmare at that very given moment it all takes place & we feel our lives are falling apart-----NOW WHAT?

My hope is TOGETHER we can all share, find the solutions, laugh a little, cry a little & just become better people due to the unforeseen events that show up and slap us in the face when we least expect it....

There are too many "negative people" in this world....It's time to GIVE & share HOPE even when we think we have nothing to share....We do :)  If we just look for it, we will ALWAYS find something good in something bad!  I am NOT saying it will be easy but it IS possible to "find the good" in EVERYTHING if we HEAL & look hard enough, it will ALWAYS appear!!!!!!!.

Trust me when I say: Someone else NEEDS to hear what you have gone through & survived so they too may have HOPE of a better tomorrow!!!!!!!